Things about my blog amoung other rambleings

Fellow Internet Junkies,

I love icons. I don't know about you but I've been gathering thousands for the past two years. It's pretty amazing. So i've decided that i'm going to share those with you now. Not all of them, that would be rediculous(but also cool). Just a few here and there that 1) either fit my mood 2) look cool or 3) are so completely random that i must share them with someone.


So who else is stoked for the new Twilight movie? Just writting the word gives me shivers. I know extacly where i'm going to be in december. I am pretty much in love with Edward Cullen, and Jasper....and emmett...not so much Jacob black though.

Speaking of dear old Jacob...Breaking Dawn about blew my mind. Where did all of that come from? i don't want to say too much because if you haven't read it i don't want to spoil anything for you but you really should read it.




So I think that's about it today. There will be more pretty pictures to follow i promise. And they won't all center around Twilight. I'm also addicted to Harry Potter and Gilmore Girls =)


Till next time,
Spokanite,

Former Seasidian

Did I miss something?

My fellow wanderers,

last night i hung out with my two best friends. both of which i had not seen in a very long time. We were being complete dorks (because that's who we are) and just getting caught up on what's happend to each other in the past year that we were apart. And of course, because we are females and it is in our genetic make up that we must, we started talking about relationships and boys. One of my friends is in a relationship that's headed, some what slowly, straight down the isle. The other one is date three guys and having sex with another.

Did i miss some galactic memo here?

While they were chatting away about boys, sex and relationships. I sat there quietly petting the dog (a pitbul named Raegan) and wondering if we were ever going to get to a subject that i would have some input on.

It's not like i'm some celebit virgin who's never had a boyfriend in her life. I was the first one out of all my friends to lose my virginity and i've had boy friends. But for the past few years i haven't had anyone...at all. I haven't dated, i haven't slept with anyone, nothing. i've been pretty content with my single life. I mean it does have its down points, but i've gotten thought it. I've always thought that 19 was way to early to be concerned at all with boys and dating. I'm still trying to somehow put my life back together since it was torn apart last April. I don't have time for the troubles of dating. School, my career and making sure that all the bills get paid come first. So why do the rest of my friends all think that they need a man in their life?

When did it become okay and 19 to start thinking about settling down? when did putting relationships with meaningless men ahead of your future become the normal? Am i just an old fashioned girl with old fashioned morals in modern world? Or am i just a few more steps ahead of the rest of my friends? I don't want to just go out on the street and date the first guy i see. If i ever do meet someone i want it to be at the right time, for the right reasons. Gah.. life is so complicated.

Until next time my loyal readers,

The Seasideian

Moving

Dearest Readers,

So I guess the name the Seasideian is no longer going to apply. I am moving away from the...lovely....ocean here in Oregon and moving back to my old hangout spot, Spokane. Why this sudden move Seasidian? I know that you're all asking me. The answer is simply. Seaside is suffocating my soul.

It's really not as dramatic as it sounds. I just feel like I can't be who I really want to be. I mean i've never gotten fired...ever.... and I did here. And everyone here is back stabbing and only out to better themselves. Ok so I guess that's true of anywhere but at least in Spokane I know who likes me and who doesn't. Here it's just....harder to figure out.

This may be the cowards way out but i'm doing something i've always wanted to go. Move in with my best friend. We always made plans to and then something came up. well now we've signed the lease and we are officially moving in on September first. Which is when first month is due, hopefully i have a job by then and i can pay the 200 hundred dollars for my first month rent. This is all wishful thinking, by the way.

I'm also going back to school. After my Eastern demise last spring i figured out that maybe Eastern wasn't the right school for me. and in all fairness i didn't really think about going to that school. I just kind of went because i knew i could get in. was it selling my self short? well yes. but i didn't think, and still don't think, that i could have gotten into a better school. This way i'm going to wipe my slate clean in community college and then start all over at a four year. so two years living with my best friend and going to community college and then on to the big four year university. it will be fun, no?

I'm pretty stoked to go back to school. I've realized that i belong in a class room, either learning or teaching. it's where i feel the best. ok, yes, i am the world's biggest nerd. But that's ok i've come to terms with that now. But it's true. i belong in a class room. i don't think i could ever teach at the elementary level in anyway. But it's where i feel i belong.

Anyways, the whole point of this was to tell you all that i'm leaveing the coast. I am moving back to the flat, brown oasis in the eastern washington desert. Maybe i'll come back and visit....maybe...

The Seasideian

Summer

Summer has started officially in Seaside. It reminds me of last summer. I'm working the same job, but this time, when September rolls around i won't be running off to college ready to be independent and ready to start my life. This fall i will stay at my job, or possibly find something better, and will join the working force who lives from pay check to pay check wondering where in there life they went wrong. Yet i know where my fault lies.

I turned 18.

i told everyone that turning 18 was going to be the end of me. i simply wasn't ready to be 18 yet. i knew in my pathetic 17 year old mind that 18 was going to be the worst year of my life. Now here i am one month away from the end of this miserable year and i have to say, i was right.

First was the car. I should never had bought it. i couldn't afford it. worse i knew i couldn't afford it, and the bank knew that also. but they gave me the money and then i couldn't pay them back and so i found my self even deeper in debt. then my identity get stolen and knocks me back even further.

We move on to winter where i was forced to realize that People are cold and heartless. It doesn't matter how nice you are to people or how much of a friend you are, they can and will stab you in the back. The worst part about that is that you never see it coming. No, sadly, these people have the ability to smile and laugh at you for one minute and then the next tell you that have never believed a word you've said and that they really can't stand you. then have the guts to call the cops on you when you run away to your sister's house because being on campus makes you cry, and then they don't tell the cops everything and say that there was a fight and because you just got out of the hospital you will take all those pain pills and try to end your life. When never have you ever given the slightest hint that you would ever try to end your life.

After figuring out i had no friends at college, this is during spring mind you, i realized that it was just not the place for me to be. Well figured out and kicked out are really the same thing. All my student loans got pulled from school and i didn't figure this out until midnight on the night before i was suppose to leave. i ran all over campus talking to whoever i could to see if i could get more time to figure something out. that answer was a big fat no. On top of all this my parents decided that they were, after being together almost 22 years, getting divorced.while they were getting divorced, the small town that i grew up in decided that they couldn't help me in the tight spot that i was finding myself in because no one wanted to deal with the fact that my parents were splitting up.

Now we come the the end of spring where a good friend in Seaside, yes good friends actually do exist, took me in and let me stay with her until i could get back on my feet. But with bosses that continuously tell me it's all my fault and a wrist injury that makes it almost impossible to hold a camera 19 isn't looking like it's going to be much better.

Until next time my fellow ranters,

The Seasideian