Summer

Summer has started officially in Seaside. It reminds me of last summer. I'm working the same job, but this time, when September rolls around i won't be running off to college ready to be independent and ready to start my life. This fall i will stay at my job, or possibly find something better, and will join the working force who lives from pay check to pay check wondering where in there life they went wrong. Yet i know where my fault lies.

I turned 18.

i told everyone that turning 18 was going to be the end of me. i simply wasn't ready to be 18 yet. i knew in my pathetic 17 year old mind that 18 was going to be the worst year of my life. Now here i am one month away from the end of this miserable year and i have to say, i was right.

First was the car. I should never had bought it. i couldn't afford it. worse i knew i couldn't afford it, and the bank knew that also. but they gave me the money and then i couldn't pay them back and so i found my self even deeper in debt. then my identity get stolen and knocks me back even further.

We move on to winter where i was forced to realize that People are cold and heartless. It doesn't matter how nice you are to people or how much of a friend you are, they can and will stab you in the back. The worst part about that is that you never see it coming. No, sadly, these people have the ability to smile and laugh at you for one minute and then the next tell you that have never believed a word you've said and that they really can't stand you. then have the guts to call the cops on you when you run away to your sister's house because being on campus makes you cry, and then they don't tell the cops everything and say that there was a fight and because you just got out of the hospital you will take all those pain pills and try to end your life. When never have you ever given the slightest hint that you would ever try to end your life.

After figuring out i had no friends at college, this is during spring mind you, i realized that it was just not the place for me to be. Well figured out and kicked out are really the same thing. All my student loans got pulled from school and i didn't figure this out until midnight on the night before i was suppose to leave. i ran all over campus talking to whoever i could to see if i could get more time to figure something out. that answer was a big fat no. On top of all this my parents decided that they were, after being together almost 22 years, getting divorced.while they were getting divorced, the small town that i grew up in decided that they couldn't help me in the tight spot that i was finding myself in because no one wanted to deal with the fact that my parents were splitting up.

Now we come the the end of spring where a good friend in Seaside, yes good friends actually do exist, took me in and let me stay with her until i could get back on my feet. But with bosses that continuously tell me it's all my fault and a wrist injury that makes it almost impossible to hold a camera 19 isn't looking like it's going to be much better.

Until next time my fellow ranters,

The Seasideian